Silence

Do you ever have a fear of silence? I find myself all throughout the day having noise around me. I get up to my alarm, I turn on the tv to watch the Today show while I get ready, someone is calling me, talking to me or texting me throughout the day, in my car I have the radio on, and at night I fall asleep to the tv(I know, bad habit). But even now I as sit here and write there is noise of the humming of my computer(more so because I think it's going to crash any one of these days, but I just try not to think about that).

I have found though that I hate silence. It's almost unnerving to me. I sit uncomfortably when there is an awkward pause in conversation or when you're the only one in a waiting room, or just even to go to sleep with nothing on to distract my mind.

Why do I hate silence? What is it about the silence that makes me uncomfortable? Maybe a fear of what I might actually hear in the times of quiet stillness? Do you have those times in your life where you don't stop long enough to hear God speak because you're too busy talking or using everything else around you to not listen?

I find myself wanting to continue talking because I'm not sure I fully want to hear what God has to say or what he has in store for my life, especially if it's not what I had in mind. I only want to stop and listen when I might hear the response I was looking for or when I already know the answer. I'm slowly learning to enjoy the silence. I realize that it's in those times of quiet stillness that God speaks to me most plainly and when I think God isn't there or isn't speaking to me, I have to remind myself to stop, be quiet, and listen!